Bosby Goes to a Gay Club

What's going on dummies? Long time no see.  Sorry for those who checked on the blog over the weekend only to find that there were no new entries.  I'm trying to build up a steady entry schedule and writing over the weekend does not seem to be in the cards.  Anyway welcome to all the new readers, and thanks to all current readers who shared this blog with their friends and coworkers.  You'll have to give them the exact URL because when you type Kill Bosby into Google, an awful band out of Omaha pops up.  Fuzzy and I spent a good ten minutes listening to their music on myspace and we can testify that they are terrible.  There some shitty Femo (Folk + Emo) group that doesn't even exist anymore. They're most recent fan post is from this chick named Mustang Vicki from 2008.

Yeah. Exactly.  HEY! Notice the use of pictures??? Fuzzy finally discovered this blog and appears to be very supportive.  So supportive in fact that he wants me to add a weekly feature called "Fuzzy's Facts."  A little overboard Fuzzy, but he's planning a presentation as we speak to pitch his ideas to me and Kluie (our third party judge).

So Friday night I went to a gay club. Wait...WHAT?  Yeah that's right, Friday night was the first night I ever went to a gay club.  Now don't start jumping to conclusions. Here's how it happened. I wake up from a long nap Friday afternoon amped and ready to go out.  So i get on the hotline and start throwing out the mass texts.  You know the ones I'm talking about: "Hey what you up to tonight?"  Some people are out of town. Some are staying in for the night.  I look at Kluie on the coach watching yet another rerun of the Nanny (Wheres does he find this stuff on the TV).  He's new in town and doesn't know anybody.  So long story short, we head over to my old roommate's (whom I used to live with years ago in LA and who also happens to be gay) place in West Hollywood to pregame.  I assumed I would go from their to a straight bar to meet up with friends while Kluie can head out with J For and get orientated with the LA gay scene.  All my other plans fall through, however, and I'm drunk so I can't drive anywhere.  So I head to Factory (Yes: Factory) with the Gat Pack.  So we get there and I tell my buddies to strap on their Stradar to find the one straight chick in the place.  After a ton of tequila and redbulls and a ton of dudes slapping me on the ass, I went creeping like I've never crept before.  I finally track down a group of chicks who appear to be straight.  Now what I'm about to say will sound extremely creepy, but just take into account that I was extremely drunk desperate for any contact with straight women.  So I stroll up to cutest chick in the group and just let her assume that I'm gay. We dance for twenty minutes or so and then I move in to hook up.  Cause girls always make out with gay guys right?  I know this logic sounds dumb as hell but I was a wreck.  So I go in for the kill and she immediately stonewalls me.  "Not gonna happen, I know your straight." I don't even think I replied in English.  I think I just went "mehhhh."  Still the night was not a total loss.  I got to meet up with some old friends and Kluie and I played a few challenging rounds of "Is that a guy or a chick."

Hey did you know its National Shitty Transition Day?  So I was at the Halloween store today and something got my attention that I can't believe I hadn't ever really noticed.  What the fuck is the deal with baby costume models.  You know what I'm talking about.  Those pictures on the cover of baby costume outfits.  Are there overbearing stage moms that berate their infants to smile for the camera to become costume models?  Or maybe there's a crooked orphanage that mistreats their children and steals all the profits from their costume modeling to buy meth.  Which brings me to the point: why would you ever make your infant wear a costume?  Babies cry when they have to burp and shit, so why would you put them in a restricting costume you sadistic assholes.

Really? How do you even carry this baby around?

Really? Babies in blackface?

You gotta be kidding me? This is horrifying and it looks like the baby's being murdered by a porn star with a huge boner.

YES!

Alright ya'll I don't know how you made it through the weekend but now you have a whole work week to look forward to the ramblings of Bosby.  Hey, let's try and get a dialogue going.  Please feel free to comment and lets get some new topics rolling.  There's gotta be more creepy baby costumes out there and I'm sure ya'll have some interesting gay club experiences.  Everything is free game on Kill Bosby. 

Night dummies,

*Bosby*