Bosby's Billboards: "Seriously Funny Kids"

OK so my resolutions for the new year aren't going so well.  As an advocate for seizing the moment and going with the flow, putting restraints on yourself can often be harmful.  While I have still cut down my drinking and smoking, that hasn't stop me from buying an exceedingly long pipe from Venice this past weekend.  Not only did I smoke a couple of times this week but I looked like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings while doing so.  I also threw my "10 drinks a week" rule out the window. I ended up out late last night on the Strip where I saw Ron Jeremy with two smoking hot chicks even though he was dressed like it was laundry day.  Lemmy the lead singer of Motorhead was also at the bar playing video poker all night.  Only in Hollywood will you find celebrities out by themselves hogging video solitaire for three straight hours.

Lemmy and some of my coworkers (Looks like they just robbed a bank).

Hey you know what game we haven't played in a while?  Bosby's Billboards!  In our last edition I pointed out the ridiculousness of the billboard for "Teach," a reality show starring the impeccable Tony Danza.  This time I'd like to direct our attention to yet another reality show called "Seriously Funny Kids."  The concept appears to be a spin off of "Kids Say the Darnedest Things."  Below is a picture of the actual billboard that hangs over Sunset Blvd.

Where do we begin?  First, Heidi Klum looks like a man in this picture, albeit a man with a uni-boob.  The wrinkles in her shirt make it look like she's playing some bizarre version of stand-up twister.  It is as if they tried as much as possible to make her look matronly while stripping away all her good looks.  Now I'm not one to judge (being that all my clothes are from old roommates or Kohls) but it looks like she stole her shirt either from a nurse or one of the Von Trapp children.  And that bracelet on her wrist makes it look like her arm has eyes. 

The kid meanwhile is straight out of a middle school Spanish text book.  You know what I'm talking about.  Spanish textbooks were more diverse and politically correct than an episode of Glee.  They always had pictures of Pepe, the parapalegic Inuit, having a catch with Mercedes, the dyslexic Ethiopian transvestite.  What the hell could he be saying to her that would warrant that bizarre pose and expression she has?  "Fuck Seal?" or "I'm actually a struggling 29 year old actor and I'm hung like a moose?"  Well whatever he's saying, it's given Heidi the uncontrollable urge to eat her own finger.  Lastly, why couldn't they choose just one font for the billboard.  There are 8 different fonts!  Why not throw Wing dings up there.  The advertising company must have said, "People looooovvvvvve crazy fonts!"  All in all, I find this billboard does nothing to generate interest in the new program.  I take that back - some people will see this billboard and definitely watch this show.  By "some people" I am of course referring to pedophiles who get off on multicultural children in denim shirts.