D List Actor Steals Girl From Bosby

Temping at new companies is always filled with awkward interactions and moments. You don't know who anybody is, and they could care less about you.  The president of the company could walk through the front door and you wouldn't know it.  I'm used to this and have learned to take any semblance of anxiety out of the equation.  I'm an even keeled machine that exchanges pleasantries with the new daily coworkers while going about my mundane tasks.  Still, even I must admit that it is terribly awkward when it is someone in the office's birthday.  Today was yet another birthday for someone I've spoken maybe six words to.  Still, everybody invites me into the conference room to sing happy birthday.  I forgot the guy's name so it's (Sing:) "Happy Birthday dear ... Larry?"  I choke down some chocolate cake (I hate chocolate) to seem polite and return to my desk to do online crossword puzzles for eight hours.

Now, about the title of this post.  First let me explain that in LA it is exceedingly difficult to find a girl to date.  I say this because for someone like me who is 23 years old and looks like he's 18, it's difficult for most women to see me as a viable option.  You see Los Angeles is a much older crowd than say Boston or New York.  The average age for women at a bar is low to mid thirties.  As a result nearly every woman I've hooked up with since coming out here has been about 34.  Still, 34 in LA looks like 24 nearly anywhere else.  I've had my run-ins and hook-ups with women with kids, and even one that was married.  Now if going older is not your style, there's always the UCLA and USC idiots, but they rarely stray from the frat parties on campus.

With all that said, last night I finally met a girl who I was digging and seemed to be about my age.  She was a damsel in distress, waiting at the valet stand in the empty parking garage.  We strike up a conversation while the valet is M.I.A.  She's freaking out that she doesn't have any cash to tip the valet.  I give her a few dollars....WAIT A MINUTE....I'm making this sound like she's a prostitute.  But trust me it was one of those rare guy meets girl scenarios that only takes place in movies.  I mean come on, how many guys and girls get together after meeting for the first time in a parking garage?  So we're talking.  I'm making jokes.  She's laughing.  She seems generally into me when....

...this guy creeps out from the shadows of some silver minivan.  His name is Page Kennedy and he's an actor you may recognize from Weeds, Blue Mountain State, and Leprechaun 2: Back to da Hood.  He literally steps right in between us and starts telling her how good she looks.  She says, "Don't I recognize you?"  And with that it's over for me.  He starts going into his whole, "Well I'm an actor..." spiel.  The valet pulls up with my car and away I ride. I check the rear view to watch her try and squirm away from this overly aggressive burnt out of an actor.  What was he doing in an empty parking garage anyway?  Is that where he picks up girls?  People always ask me if I run into celebrities in LA.  My answer is always that running into celebrities in LA is like running into someone from your high school in your hometown.  You might think "O hey!, that's so-and-so" but you would never freak out and start harassing them.  Still, I've also learned that the actors at the bottom of the totem pole or just as sleazy as every other wanna be creeping in the Hollywood bar scene.  I've even seen Jeremy Piven get rejected by four girls in a row and then duck out the back door.  In the end I was a bitch and should of tried to get the girl's number.  But hey how could I compete with "Twizzle" from In the Mix?